Drifting Away
by xxScreamingInsidexx
Summary: She was mine and I was hers. She said we would never die. She said she would always love me. Her words were posion and they internally killed me. This is my story on the road to recovery. ff slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Drifting Away**

Chapter 1 

This always happens, I mean every time. Things are rough and there's this dark period. Then things get way better, and all the shit that happened was worth it. But, that would make things easy and sweet and nothing, nothing, can ever be that easy and sweet. So everything becomes harder. She leaves. Just when I finally had her, she leaves. I mean it's only for the summer, but it took us awhile to get to where we're at now and then she's off to London. Ashley, I don't know how I can possibly make it through this summer without you. You're like an umbrella in a rainstorm. You can deal with the storm for a little bit, but then it's too much. Ashley, I can't survive without you.

But what can I do? Complaining isn't going to get me anywhere. I'll just hold back my tears and kiss you goodbye. I'll tell you to have a blast and to bring me back a T-shirt or something. Heh. That is, if you come back. I'm so sick of expecting one thing, and then it turning out to be horribly wrong. It's supposed to be just the summer, but what if you decide London's just too good to leave and you stay there. I don't think I could take that, I don't think I can take being abandoned again. Sure, I have my circle of friends, but even they can't feel that empty hole. I'm incomplete with out you babe. I've known that all along, even though we had our problems along the way, we ended up right where we need to be. I wish you well. Don't let me lose you.

Sincerely

Paige Michaelchuck

I kissed the letter, rolled it up, and put it in a glass bottle with a cork. I learned awhile ago, that when there's something eating up your insides that it's best to just write it out on paper and send it away to the deep abyss. I closed my eyes and threw the bottle in the water. All of this really happened fast, it seemed as if one day we were best friends, than the next we hated each other because she took ecstasy, then the next day, she was sitting there while I sobbed on her shoulder about Dean. I don't know when we fell in love, maybe I loved her all along and just replaced it with hate, it wasn't until her break up with Craig that I realized it though. I remember secretly envying her when they would walk down the hall hand and hand. But when they broke up, I realized I wasn't interested in Craig like I had originally thought. My feelings of envy were for him, that he had her. It all happened so fast, we fell in love, we hid our love, we still do. But it doesn't matter if other people know about is, they don't need to. Because I love her and she loves me and that's all that matters. I could try to explain our story, about falling in love and how it happened, but I'd rather skip that part, and tell you about what happened after words. After she left for London, and how I was right, how my feelings about her never coming back were proved accurate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Drifting Away**

Chapter 2 

Ah, summer break, no school, no homework, no waking up early, pure ecstasy…. For most people anyway. How did I spend my days of summer break, at the glorious movie theater. Ugh, this job bites, but it pays and that's what I need, cash. I wiped down the tables while Alex worked the register. Business was slow; most people don't go to see a movie at 4 o'clock pm. With nothing to do, it gave me more time to dwell on the fact that Ashley was going to be gone the WHOLE summer. I sat in one of the chairs and just leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling.

Ashley sat at the piano playing random melodies. Her hair was starting to grow longer and it hung slightly in her face. She was in her own world when she played. I walked over and put my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled but pulled away.

"_You know, Toby could walk in any moment." She said with a smirk._

"_Let him." I whispered and leaned in for a kiss, which she accepted._

"_You know I'd totally lose it without you" I told her._

"_And me without you" she said._

"Hey Paige." Alex yelled.

I snapped out of it and slowly look up.

"Just because no one's here, doesn't mean you can randomly zone out."

"Yeah, yeah." I said and stood up and chucked the rag at her.

She was able to duck just in time. She grabbed some popcorn to throw at me but Mary came in right at that moment.

Alex and I both waited for the lecture about looking professional and not like typical teens, but Mary spared us and just walked off. After that, we started getting crowds of people and I never even had a moment to dwell on Ash. I went and started cleaning off the tables again and turned off the open sign. I gathered my things and started to leave.

"Hey Paige."

I turned around "hmm"

"You okay, you seem a little off."

"Nah Alex, I'm just tired. Cya around." I said and walked off.

I hate this feeling of emptiness, I feel so pathetic. You know what's worse? I can't even tell anyone what's going on. She wanted to keep it hidden. I wanted to keep it hidden in the beginning, but not the whole time. Who cares if I got bashed, love is pain and pain is love. Good things aren't as good with out the bad. I got home and just flung myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling. She's been gone for a month and I still can't grasp it. I opened my cell to check my inbox. Zero messages. Damn. I guess now I know how spinner used to feel, always waiting around for me to call. I didn't want to seem desperate so I decided not to call Ash. Everything seemed to remind me of her. She had always been there for me, whether I realized it or not. Especially after Dean. Hell who cares if I seem desperate. I dialed her number. Her voicemail picked up. I hung up without leaving a message. Yep this would be a long summer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Drifting Away**

Chapter 3 

Rays of sunlight pierced through my room. I got up and stumbled to the curtains, and drew them shut. I flopped back down in bed. It was my day off and I planned to catch up on some much needed rest. I kept myself up so many nights thinking about her. Today would be different. I was going to catch a movie, or shop for shoes, or whatever it takes to get me out of this house and stop dwelling on Ash. As I lay curled up in my bed, I drifted off to sleep again. I didn't notice my phone blinking indicating I had a new text message.

I awoke around 10 am and hopped in the shower. There's nothing more refreshing than a hot shower. I put on some jeans and a red tank top, and wrapped my hair in a towel. For the first time in awhile, I felt relaxed. While I was applying some cherry lip-gloss, I heard the doorbell downstairs. Hazel was waving at me through the window when I got there. I smiled and let her in.

"Hey you want to catch a movie? I think there's a new Orlando Bloom one out." She said with a wink.

I chuckled to myself. "Nah, but let's go to the mall. I hear there's some killer shoe sales going on."

"Works for me, are you almost ready?" she said.

Without answering her ran upstairs, blow dried my hair straight, grabbed my money and my keys and ran back downstairs.

The mall was packed as usual. I managed to get two new pairs of shoes to add to my growing collection. Hazel and I were sitting in the food court, drinking smoothies. I could see Hazel hungrily scooping out the guys. Every so often she would bat her eyes and wink at a guy. I rolled my eyes, geez is this how I used to be? I saw Alex walk pass with Ellie. She waved and I nodded towards her.

"Oh my god, look to your right." Hazel whispered.

I casually looked over, expecting to see (in her a opinion) a total hottie. Instead of some guy, I saw two girls. I didn't realize what was so special about them. Then I realized they were holding hands. Envy took over me. They looked so happy; they gazed in to each other's eyes like they were the only two people in the mall.

"That is so gross. I can't believe they're doing that in public." Hazel said in disgust.

One of the girls took the other one's face and gave her a kiss. It wasn't like they were making out; it was just simple, beautiful. Too bad Ash and I were never like that, not in public anyway.

"Damn dykes" Hazel said under her breath.

"Hazel shut up! It's obvious you're just jealous. You're still sour because of what happened with Jimmy. Get over yourself, they're happy, and you just keep putting them down. Get over yourself." I got up and walked towards the exit, leaving her speechless with her mouth hanging open. I threw the rest of my smoothie in the trash. I looked up and saw the two girls looking at me, with a slight smile. When I got to my car, I noticed my phone was blinking. I had a test from Ash. I put my phone in my pocket and went to unlock my car door. The keys fell to the ground, I cursed and went to pick them up. Before I could pick them up, some one else did.

"Here ya go princess."

I looked up and saw Alex smirking. I took the keys from keys from her. I unlocked the door and threw my bags in.

"Thanks!" I said cheerfully.

"I heard your lil speech in there." She said, "I think Hazel almost pissed herself."

I laughed, "I guess I went a little overboard, what can I say homophobes piss me off. I guess I inherited that trait from my bro."

I went to get in my car, but Alex touched my arm. I turned to look at her.

"I've gained a new respect for you." She said seriously.

There was an awkward pause for a moment. It looked like there was something else she wanted to say but she didn't. I nodded and got into my car. I watched her walk off, weird one she is. I fetched my phone out of my pocket. I went to the inbox, I felt like I hadn't heard from Ash in ages. I read the message quickly. The rush of happiness I just had vanished when I read her message.


	4. Chapter 4

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 4**

_Hey Paige, I know you thought I'd be_

_Be returning to London in a few weeks_

_ But some things have come up so I'm _

_Going to be here a few more months._

_Paige, I have to think about a few things_

_There's a lot of stuff going on. Give me time?_

_-Ash_

I reread the text over and over again. I blinked a few times. Was I dreaming? The phone slipped out of my hands and dropped under my feet. Shaking, I put my head down on the wheel. 1,2,3 I started counting. 4,5,6 She's staying in London? 7,8,9 What does she need to think about, us? 10. There must be more to it. I fetched the phone form under my seat. My fingers were still shaking as I dialed her number. God, I hope I'll be able to speak. My pulse raced while the phone rang. During the third ring, someone picked up.

"Hello?" a man's voice answered.

Thinking I had the wrong number I almost hung up. It took a little way before it hit me that Ash was staying at her dad's house.

"Anyone there?" the voice said.

"Sorry Mr. Kerwin, is Ash around?" I said apologetically.

The guy laughed, " Babe, this isn't Mr. Kerwin. I'm Ash's er friend, she's in the shower, so that's why I picked up."

I heard a door open in the back round, before I could answer-

"Hold on a sec." He said.

I heard muffled voices in the back round.

"Damn, girl you look hot, why'd you even bother putting clothes on, they'll be off in a sec anyway." The unnamed guy said.

Ash laughed, "Shut up, you're such a guy."

"Oh, someone's touchy. You must've missed me in the shower. I'll join you next time." He said.

I could imagine a stupid grin across his face.

"I'll hold you to that." I heard Ash say seductively.

Did she really just say what I think she did?

"Hey babe, some girl's on the phone for you." He said.

There was a little commotion, then Ash picked up.

"Hello?" Ash said.

"Ash…" I said.

""Paige!" she sounded surprised. " I didn't think you'd be calling til later, did you get off work early?"

"Um yeah." I said. Why couldn't I say anything?

"Sorry about the guy who answered, he's a cousin." Ash said.

"Oh really? I didn't know a cousin could make you giggle like a little school girl" I said, she was starting to piss me off, How could she lie to me like that?

"Oh, you heard." She said nervously.

"Yes, Ashley I heard. I heard every little thing. If I hadn't were you going to keep telling me he was your cousin?" I started to raise my voice.

"Paige this isn't a good time." She said.

"Oh sorry, well what's a better time _babe_, after you guys are done rolling around in your sheets?" I said sarcastically.

"Pai-"

"Well don't bother, you'll probably lose your voice moaning and screaming your cousin's name." I yelled.

"I'm sorry, Paige." She said.

"Me too." I hung up.

Every emotion I'd been holding back since she left, every emotion I kept inside the whole summer, every emotion, just poured out of me. I screamed and sobbed. Obviously, I couldn't drive in this condition so I got out of the car. I locked the door and slammed it shut. I walked toward the sunset, the most beautiful thing in my eyesight. I needed to be near it. I just kept walking and stumbling.


	5. Chapter 5

**Drifting Away**

Chapter 5 

Time simply didn't exist. All I knew was it was pitch black. Somehow I ended up in the ravine. I continued to stumble around. Before I knew it I was flying towards the ground. My head smashed down onto the moist ground. No one in the ravine noticed me. They were to wrapped around in their own worlds and highs to notice, not that I minded. The stars in the sky were vibrant. If only I could stay there forever. A cloud blew over the stars hiding them. Rolling over, I tried to reposition my ankle. Pain seared through my leg. I looked towards it. There was a root a few feet from where I was lying. That would explain the pain in my ankle. My attempts to stand were pointless. The pain became too unbearable, so I flopped back down in the grass. Cold raindrops hit my face. My head was swimming. I could hear voices all around me. My hand went to the back of my head. My hair was sticky with blood. I didn't realize I hit my head that hard. Suddenly I became tired. My eyelids began to flutter.

I felt a warm hand on my cheek. I reached for it, but I couldn't reach it. Everything around me was cold and wet, except for the hand. My hand roamed around aimlessly. Where was the hand?

"Ash?" I murmured. I knew she would come back for me.

I felt weightless. Nothing could touch me. I was floating. My vision was blurry. Voices were all around me. My vision started to come back. I reached for her face.

"I love you." I whispered.

She held my hand. I tried to lean in to kiss her, but I couldn't find the strength.

"I'm sorry for what ever I did-" I started to say, but she put a finger to my lips.

"Shush, your weak as it is, save your energy." She commanded.

I listened to her and didn't say another word. I felt so tired I just wanted to sleep. Why was I so weak? I heard bits of and pieces of people's conversations.

"She's losing blood fast."

"Someone needs to call an ambulance."

"That will attract cops."

"She doesn't look to good."

"She needs to be in a hospital."

"If the cops show up, everyone here is busted."

"Just leave her."

"Did she fall?"

"Maybe she has a concussion."

"She needs help."

Who were they talking about? There were so many voices, yet who did they belong too? I felt someone lift me and place me on a soft cushion. It was so cold I was shaking. Some put a blanket over me. I was so drained, I could hardly move. Someone started an engine. I started to zone out. Slowly, everything faded to black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Drifting Away**

Chapter 6 

_The sky was a beautiful crystal blue with only a few puffy clouds. I fell to the ground and just looked up in the sky. Ash stood over me and laughed._

"_What are you doing down there?" She sat down next to me._

"_I'm just enjoying the moment." I answered._

_She lay down next to me and slipped her fingers through mine. I turned toward her and gave her a sweet kiss._

"_I wish this moment could last forever." I whispered._

"_It can." She replied._

I opened my eyes. Everything around me was white and bright. There was this faint beeping sound ringing in my ears. Where was I? I tried to sit up, but I couldn't move to well. Everything smelled so clean, like Pinsol. I felt like crap. I had this huge headache, I groaned.

"Well it looks like someone's finally up." A plump woman walked in the room carrying a needle. She was dressed in primarily white. There was a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Where's Ash?" I asked rubbing my head.

She gave me a confused look. "Ash?" She said to herself, "Was that the girl who brought you here?" She said, like it had just hit her.

"No, that girl who brought her here would be Alex." I looked towards the door and saw Alex walk in. She didn't look too good. She looked like she had been up all night. There were bags under her eyes and her clothes were pretty wrinkled. I looked around. That's when I realized where I was.

"Why am I in a hospital?" I asked. The nurse walked over towards me and put a shot in my arm.

"Well honey, you took a nasty fall." She started to explain, "You were losing a lot of blood because you hit your head on a rock or something, and on top of that you had a mild concussion."

"Oh?" I said. That was all I could say.

It started to come back to me. I was wandering around and I ended up in the ravine. Then I remember tripping. Everything after that was a blur. I was still puzzled about two things though. How did I end up here and where was ash?

The nurse continued to talk, "If it wasn't for this gal here," she nodded towards Alex. "You might be in worse shape."

I looked towards Alex. We made eye contact for the first time since she came into the room.

"Thanks" I muttered for some reason I started blushing.

"No problem princess, you were in bad shape though, you kept calling me by someone else's name and slurring your words." Alex said.

It suddenly hit me. Alex was the one who was standing by me, not Ashley. I looked at her appearance again.

"Did you stay here all night?" I asked

Alex looked down and hooked her thumbs through her belt loops. She opened her mouth to say something but the nurse beat her to it.

"Yes she was, I told her to go home and get some rest and that we'd call her when you woke up, but she wouldn't leave. She drove you here last night through the storm. I don't think she slept a wink." The nurse said with a gossipy voice.

I heard a buzz and the nurse excused herself. Alex stayed all night? She was the one who helped me. I remembered all the voices I had heard. If it wasn't for her I could've died. As thankful as I was, I couldn't help but be disappointed that it wasn't Ash. I thought back about the memory of us lying next together on that sunny day again.

"Hey Paige, I should probably get back." Alex said. She started to leave.

"Hey Alex?" she turned around. "Thank you, really." I said.

She nodded and walked out. I thought about Ash again. She said that moment would last forever, but she lied. That moment, was forever dead.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello my Readers

I know I haven't updated in forever, but Kissing in the Rain and Drifting Away will soon be up and running again. There's been a lot going on, and these stories just kind of made me remember it, so I was avoiding them for awhile. But I can't ignore them forver so soon the next chapters will be up. Thank you for being patient with me.

Love all


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